Tag Archives: satire

SINGAPOREANS LOOKING FORWARD TO AH BOYS TO MEN PART 4

The latest installment of the franchise Ah Boys to Men 3: Frogmen collected $2.8 million in 4 days during the Chinese New Year holidays.. Singaporeans who were interviewed by ST are looking forward to next year's installment of Ah Boys To Men. However, some Singaporeans are not happy with the way SAF is being portrayed in the films.

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PRIMARY SCHOOL BOY: “WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE A WAITER!”

According to the latest figures released today (27 Jan 2015) by Ministry of Manpower, there were 67,400 job vancacies as of September in 2014. Eighty percent of the vancaies were in the service industries, particularly in social, community and personal services. The breakdown by professions indicated that employers are desperately looking for sales assistants, waiters and security guards whereas technical roles for diploma holders account for mere twenty percent of the job vacancies that were available.

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TERRORIST ATTACK ON SATIRICAL NEWSPAPER CHARLIE HEBDO IN THE HEART OF PARIS

11 people, two of them policemen, have been killed and 10 wounded in the shooting massacre at Paris headquarters of satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo. Five of the wounded are in critical condition. Police so far confirm the death of one journalist, AP reports. Three officers have been wounded. "About a half an hour ago two black-hooded men entered the building with Kalashnikovs. A few minutes later we heard lots of shots," a witness told local TV station iTele, adding that the men were then seen fleeing the building.

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S’POREAN STUDENT GETS PREGNANT PLAYING UNIVERSITY’S FRESHMAN ORIENTATION GAMES

A Singaporean student has become pregnant after playing some of the Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) games organised by one of the local universities. It has been revealed recently that some of the FOC games have long promoted the exchange of bodily fluids between members of the opposite sex, such as licking whipping cream off each other’s bodies, passing gummy bears from mouth to mouth and lying next to or on top of each other, all on the pretext of promoting platonic bonding.

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GOVERNMENT: PEOPLE CAUGHT SHITTING IN PUBLIC WILL BE PUNISHED BY CLEANING PUBLIC TOILETS FOR 1 MONTH

An image of a woman having diarhoea in public went viral on Singapore cyberspace Wednesday night. According to the image contributor, the woman was most likely a PRC national who could not control her bowels and was forced to defecate in public. Singaporean netizens are up in arms over the matter and many have called for such errant individuals to be deported back to their countries. As a result of this latest shitting incident, various Government representatives held an emergency meeting late last night to come up with an appropriate response plan against such uncouth behaviours from taking root in Singapore. At about 5.00 AM this morning, the Government held a press conference and unveiled a series of measures to clamp down on such disgusting public behavior.

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MINDEF: SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR NSMEN WHO STILL FAIL IPPT

Minister for Defence Dr Ng Eng Hen announced changes to the IPPT format today (23 Jul). Under the new IPPT format, NSmen will be required to complete three stations instead of five. The three stations are Push Ups, Sit-ups and 2.4 Kilometers run. These changes are only applicable to Operationally Ready NSmen. NSFs and SAF regulars are still required to complete the five stations under the previous format.

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SINGAPORE ZOO: PENGUIN ENCLOSURE TEMPORARY CLOSED

The Singapore Zoo has closed their penguin enclosure this morning (18 July). The Zoo explains that some penguins have displayed symptoms of depression, such as loss of appetite and restlessness. The closure will only be temporary and it will be re-opened once the penguins have been cured.

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