Tag Archives: new nation

APPLE CEO CONFESSES HE’S GAY, CAUSES CRISIS IN FCBC

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge. Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.” “No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6 feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

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THOUSANDS OF DONORS DEMAND ROY NGERNG RETURN THEIR DONATIONS

The donors, who initially gave willingly to Ngerng to shield him from Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s legal advances, said they did not expect their money to be used for unruly means and intimidation. Kong Chee Kim, a Singaporean said: “We didn’t give Roy Ngerng money so he can disturb children. We want our money back. Return my donation! Return my donation!”

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ROY NGERNG’S POTTED PLANTS INVESTIGATED FOR SUSPECTED BREEDING OF DENGUE MOSQUITOES

Hong Gan Leow, a local, said: “First, he got fired. Then his dad kenna arrow for cleanliness. Then now his potted plant suspected of spreading dengue.” “When they’re out to get you, they’re out to get you. Wonder what would happen next? Roy Ngerng’s dog investigated for suspected rabies and quarantined?” At press time, Ngerng’s dog has been investigated for rabies and quarantined.

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PRIMARY SCHOOL BOY APPLIES FOR PERMIT TO HOLD PROTEST AT HONG LIM PARK

Dubbed the “Return My Edusave” protest, the event saw over 6,000 students from more than 100 primary schools gathering at Hong Lim Park to protest against the government’s handling of their Edusave funds — a scheme aimed ostensibly at providing students with funds to pay for enrichment programmes. They claimed that government control over the Edusave Endowment Fund was akin to “student exploitation” and that students ought to be given full control over how their Edusave funds were spent.

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PAP HAS RETURNED MY CPF MONIES THIS MORNING

A “Return Our CPF” protester woke up this morning to find all his CPF monies accumulated in his compulsory CPF account returned to him by the government in cold hard cash. Kong, the Singaporean who has been angry for so many years about not being able to withdraw his CPF money, said: “This Hong Lim Park protest to demand the government give us back our CPF monies is really super effective.”

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NEWBORN BABIES IN 2015 WILL RECEIVE LEE KUAN YEW’S BOOK AS PART OF GIFT PACK

In response, they have decided to give a copy of Hard Truths to Keep Singapore Going, a book written by Singapore’s most famous author, Lee Kuan Yew. Another gift will be a towel with Lee Kuan Yew’s picture on it, as well as a poster of Lee Kuan Yew. The National Population and Talent Division (NPTD), which is putting together the gift pack, has set up a booth at VivoCity to catch passing shoppers for their ideas.

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Indonesia media buys New Nation news about PM Lee and SBY

I guess we can now REALLY say the row between Singapore and Indonesia has seriously come to a head. Indonesia media left, right and centre have picked up on the New Nation piece about PM Lee unfriending Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono on Facebook. Tribun News, read by 200 million Indonesians, reported on the issue as if it is real and it has gone viral.

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