I used to call myself useless guy and always got ditched by my ex. I have no problem in getting attach but i hv problem sustaining it. My values in rs is very traditional and simple. I believe in putting efforts to a rs rather than find a perfect gf. I always been trying to get my message across to my ex gf.
I currently dating another ger. Being hurt so many time, i am really afraid i got ditch again. I been pondering if this ger is right for me. She is a very smart ger in a sales role who always tell me she have no problem getting a bf. Why she picked me because she feel connected with me but recently due to quarrels she feel i am giving her a wrong impression and she might made a mistake being with me. :( sadly i beg and she stay on.
1. Like i mentioned i am someone that feel rs is commitment and devotion. Compromise each other. forgive and forget. Be it in a rs or marriage, if quarrel then find solutions and work it out no matter what. Her views is very different but i dun think she is wrong either. She feel that if a couple cant communicate and always have clash in views, should just move on why stay and put in efforts. Worst thing is i feel her threshold on this is very low, ie. quarrel abit, she feel that communication breakdown, values different and not meant to be together.
2. Every quarrel must have a valid reasoning. ie. if you cant out talk me, why shld i be listening to you and compromise??? To her intelligent debates into quarrel are very healthy, which i strongly disagree cos i think sometimes we need to work things out and we shld try compromise and accept each other. Debating with her always end up in a nasty quarrel.
3. When its come to family, I come from complete family, i value alot of family respects and bonding. I.e We as children shld always respect elder regardless of what. We shld not be rude.
She comes from single family, just with her mom. She took care of her financially and take her out to eat, I think this is good, however she dun respect her mom. When she is angry, she threw tantrum on her. When her mom ask her out of concern, she shut her up. I spoke to her, but she just say this is just the way they communicate.
4. Decision making. This is another i cant comprehend. When comes to planning, she like to plan things ahead, but i am a chill lac person. When she asked me something, sometimes simple things i just answer based on the question but she feel i didnt use my heart to communicate. :(
Example. Choose between 2 dresses. (A,B) She told me she had similar dress like A but B need to be altered and tailored to her size. (not fitting)
In my humble opinion, i told her A is nicer on her and i like, she repeated that she have a similar one, so immediately i tell her to get B. She say need to tailored. If that the case, I ask her to pick A cos it really nicer.
So she get frustrated, saying i cant make simple decision like this and I just answer her without thinking cos she told me beforehand she had a similar dress like A.
Then again we quarrel such issues many many times. I apologized many times for answering her without thinking. Sometimes i feel stupid here, and angry.