PARLIAMENT: NO SINGAPOREANS ALLOWED TO LEAVE COUNTRY DURING NATIONAL DAY HOLIDAYS

It is confirmed. Ministers in the Parliament have voted for a full lockdown of Singapore from Aug 7-10 to prevent any Singaporeans from leaving the country. This is after major airlines and tour agencies saw unprecedented surge in bookings as Singaporeans attempt to make full use of the long weekend over National Day this year by traveling overseas, instead of celebrating our country's jubilee birthday.

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On top of forcing those who have booked an overseas trip over the long weekend to cancel it, authorities have announced that this group of pathetic and unpatriotic Singapore are to report to Old Changi Hospital on August 9. Over there, they will be subjected to at least 24 hours endless replay of the famous song, One Singapore to build up on their patriotism. Only those who can sing the song in full with a huge smile on their faces can leave OCH.

All exits in Singapore including Changi Airport, Woodlands Checkpoint and Tuas Checkpoint will be shut down over the 4 days to ensure that there isn't any outflow of Singaporeans.

F-15SG fighter planes would also be on standby to shoot down any Singaporeans who tries to leave the country via any flying devices like piggy-backing a weasel who is piggy-backing a woodpecker...

 

Singaporeans found violating this lockdown will have ERP gantries installed over the gates of their house for a minimum period of 5 years.

 

Kthxbye.

Editor's Note: Remember, what you just read is fictitious, untrue and just trolling. Have a good laugh :) 

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