GAY OFFERS ADVICE ON SURVIVING CHINESE NEW YEAR

Back when I was still a Drama Queen, I was always sorely tempted to call forth all my acting prowess and do something really dramatic - like feigning a heart attack while spring-cleaning - just to avoid the annual chin-gay celebrations. 
 
For gay men and women of Chinese descent, the Chinese New Year often pose more challenges than all fourteen seasons of Survivor rolled into one. Swinging singletons worry about inquisitive relatives, same-sex couples despair over whether to bring their partners home etc, etc. 
When I first invited my partner home for the traditional steamboat dinner, my parents had to be force-fed cattle tranquilisers. Fortunately, things have since settled down nicely once my partner and I stopped nibbling on each other's earlobes in the presence of family. 
 
Despite having been accepted by our families, my partner and I still look forward to the Chinese New Year with as much enthusiasm as having a crate of Mandarin oranges suspended from our testicles. 
 

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