Association of Apathetic S’poreans issues statement on Religion vs LGBT debate: ‘We don’t care’

The Association of Apathetic Singaporeans (ASS), who don’t even care if their acronym is wrong, has issued a statement to hit out at the Christians, Catholics, Muslims and LGBTs over the recent spate of something that has caused all sides to lose their shit.

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President of ASS, Mai Huan Loh, in a statement issued to the media, said: “I don’t know what they are fighting about, but if they must, can they don’t?”

Mai added: “I just want to know approximately how much is my year-end bonus this year and will I get promoted? Plus, where are the best and new cafes in Singapore? And why hasn’t my credit card points been redeemed yet?”

Other members of ASS said they have not been following whatever has been happening in the spiritual realm or following the debates surrounding homosexuals.

One other ASS member, Mai Cha La, said: “I hope the Christians, Catholics and Muslims can just do their thing quietly and the LGBTs can also do their thing quietly.”

“By making so much noise and having the media constantly cover the event, it just makes me want to look up from my screen when I’m watching all these free downloaded drama series from online.”

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