HOW MANY PAP MEMBERS DO YOU NEED TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

Our reader sent us this funny compilation.

How many PAP members do we need to change a light bulb?

–One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed.
–One to show a powerpoint presentation on how many other countries don’t even have light bulbs to begin with, and that Singaporeans should be happy with what they have been given due to the far-sighted policies of the Gahmen, and not complain so much.
–One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed under the present circumstances is planting a poisonous time bomb.
–One to say that asking for a light bulb to be changed shows how soft we are compared to China and India, who are perfectly willing to work in total darkness.
–One to ask a columnist in the Gahmen-linked press to write an editorial on how brave the Gahmen is in querying the necessity of light bulbs.
–One to ask the Gahmen-linked broadcaster to do a news item on “It’s Easy to Live Without Light Bulbs”.
–One to say that the Gahmen had thought of changing the light bulb a long time ago, but due to unpublished data that only they have access to, have decided against it.
–One to suggest that people who believe that light bulbs need changing should stand for election.
–One to commence a defamation suit against the person who, by the very act of suggesting a light bulb needs changing, is sullying the reputation of the entire Cabinet and should pay them millions in damages.
–One to alert the IRAS against the person asking for the light bulb to be changed.
–One to convene a high level committee to revisit the issue of whether a light bulb actually needs changing.
–One to commence police investigations into documentarians and bloggers raising the light bulb issue.
–One to commission the Gahmen-linked film studio to make a film raising the issues of light bulb changing in a light-hearted and non-confrontational manner.
–One to urge the public to “move on” from the light bulb issue.
–One to give a multi-million dollar contract to a GLC to change the light bulb.
–One to give a multi-million dollar contract to another GLC to supply new light bulbs.
–One to ensure the union of light bulb changers falls in step with the NTUC.
–One to spend millions of dollars to take over light bulb companies in other countries
–One to confuse Singaporeans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
–One to commission a committee to rename the light bulb.
–One to rename it as “Light Bulb” after spending S$1 million on the naming committee.
–One to say that even if we have to change a lightbulb, the cost of a lightbulb is still cheaper than the UK, USA and Japan.
–One to tell everyone that it will take 56 man-year to change one light bulb, so do you still want to change the lightbulb?
–One Minister to mentor all the ministers named above, so that the ‘good values’ are passed down, as advisor.
–One Minister to serve as Senior, to lead and be seen to lead, such as overseeing the purchase of the bulb, going overseas on diplomatic trips instead of having the Prime Minister do it.
–One to blame the public for not taking care of the light bulbs so a fee will be imposed.
–One to commission NUS to research on how too much bright light harms human and their pets.
–One to implement a ELP (Electronic Lighting Pricing) to tax on people who walk under the bulb.
–One to tell the public more lights actually go to the locals (which include citizens and permanent residents), like 55%.
–One to offer shark fin soup to the old folks to make them forget about bulb-changing.
–One to put up a set up a committee and put the proposal for discussion in Parliament over the need to change a lightbub.* The proposal should cover the impact of changing light bulb on the budget, the trade balance, the Singapore dollar, the environment. …
If parliament approves the bill for light-bulb change, then …..One to be appointed Minister of Light Bulb, one to be appointed as MiNister of State (Light Bulb), one to be appointed as 1st Deputy Minister of Light Bulb and one to be appointed as 2nd Deputy Minister of Light Bulb
–One to made it mandatory for all citizens to have their light bulbs changed as well (no CPF, cash please)
–One to instruct the relevant businesses to raise the prices of materials for making the light bulb, which in turn,, jack up the cost to change the light bulbs.
–One to implement a tight deadline for changing the light bulb, and allows the list of authorized contractors to inflate the prices by quantums during the last few days before the deadline.
–One to tell us that the cost of lightbulbs that is installed in every household is heavily subsidized (by market subsidy)
–One to peg the price of lightbulbs to the cost of oil to justify both an increase in the price of the lightbulb and the price of electricity.
–One to announce a package relief for lower income household who could not really afford lightbulbs to win votes during an election.
–One to bring the issue of the increase in the price of lightbulbs to parliament and pretend his or her indignation.
–One Prime Minister to break his word that prices of lightbulb will never see an increase in price after the election.
–One to tell the public that, the public is getting a bargain for the change of lightbulb by ministers.
–One Senior Minister to justify all the ministers good work must come with an increase in their salary.