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When I was in JC, my parents told me to break up with my then boyfriend as they thought he was too young, immature and came from a broken family. He was a year younger than me. “You’ll wait forever to settle down with him,” they said. So I did. When I was in uni, my parents told me to break up with another boyfriend as he was in a low pay, slow progression job and his family was poor.
“They’ll take advantage of us. Besides, these people have poor manners and no class, they’ll put you to shame,” they said. So I did. Well, they did not explicitly said that we must break up, but they indirectly did with hurtful comments e.g. “You must be prepared to suffer and work like a dog for the rest of your life and I cannot help you….”, “If you stay together with him (my first ex), you’ll miss out on better guys in Uni….”.
I also found out that they had been constantly badmouthing my exes behind my back to my sibling and relatives. When I did certain things that they were unhappy with, they would tell me that it must be due to bad influence from my boyfriend. After a while, I just could not take it anymore and decided to break up. Fast forward to today, both guys have stable jobs, happily engaged and seen on social media preparing for their wedding, buying house and all.
On the other hand, I’m here nursing another broken heart after being cheated on (by the guy that my parents finally approve of, gosh), and had to deal with parents who kept asking why I could not find a decent partner despite having above average looks.
Maybe we shouldn’t be too obedient and learn to stand up for ourselves sometimes, especially when our future is concerned, but it’s just so hard when you’re young, uncertain of what’s best for your future and not confident that you can prove your parents wrong. Sigh.
