Dear ASS Editors,
I have never ever thought I’ll come to this.
My childhood never consisted of my parents – my mum was constantly in prison and my dad, well….I’m ashamed to say I’m an illegimate child. Raised by my aunties, uncles and my grandmother, my childhood was a constant void from parents love and good upbringing. The place I was raised in seemed like a constant warfare for money and a place for emotional and physical abuse – I never had good role models around me.
My grandmother was cheated off her money and house by her children. Though, my grandmother was lucky enough as she had enough savings to buy a second home. Unfortunately, one of my uncles (who was staying in NZ all the time but came back upon knowing his mother was on the verge of death) took the oppotunity to sell the house away after her demise. At a tender age of 17, I was kicked out of what was supposed to be my home and started living on the streets.
I was all alone. No money, no roof over my head, no one to support my education. I had no one to turn to. I was all my myself. I started doing odd jobs so I could have enough money for food – I was stringent on myself and spent money on a loaf of bread that can last me for two days. With my stringent spending, I found a cheap place to rent.
Things were not so bad as I started to work in the retail line. I saved money to get a diploma and I thank heavens that I managed to attain my diploma with flying colours. Upon my diploma, I started to work in banks; I started off as a lowly officer to a manager.
Earlier on, I mentioned my mother was in prison. She was in prison due to her addiction of drugs. I almost despised her initially that she, as an A level graduate (A level was a pretty high education for people born in 50s), was wasting her life away by dabbling in drugs. I found out the reason of her dabbling in drugs – she was constantly raped by her brothers when she was young (and back then, everyone knew but no one rendered any help) and the only way she found solace was drugs. Obviously, with time, she got addicted. Her old habits didn’t die after her release. She continued to dabble in drugs.
When she came out, because she was my mother after all and I’ve always believed in filial piety, I got her to stay with me which leads to my situation now. When she was staying with me, she often caused a ruckus at home and was unfortunately, a public nuisance as well. The police often contacted me to inform me of my mother’s arrest – I bailed her out. Most of the time, I tried to settle with the party (who thankfully agrees to not make a police report) by compensating them with money on the damage my mother has done. I was pretty dried up from my savings after a few years. My performance at work went downhill as well – if I were lucky, I would get about 2-3 hours of sleep at night. Most of the time, none at all. Due to my deteriorating performance, I was asked to leave.
Credit card bills were a constant headache. Without my knowledge, my mother would do a cash withdrawal of a few thousands to feed her drug addiction.
My mother passed away 3 years ago and I have managed clear a little of her debt. However, I do realize I need help – the debt can never be cleared. I currently owe about $70,000. Most of my pay goes to the repayment of debts my mother incurred in the past. It has came to the point where I am using the power top up key for electricity and water. My water pressure is on a constant low and showering requires 30 minutes of time.
I am no longer working in a bank as with such bad credit, I’ll never be hired. I’m working as a sales person now with a basic salary of $2000 per month. Things doesn’t get worse with my life’s situation. I’m currently looking for a new job as the current company I am in is has financial problems and my pay has always been delayed. My livelihood depends on my pay, the debts I have to clear in order not to incur a late payment charge depends on my pay.
I’d like to find my happiness, get married and have kids to give them a wholesome childhood I never had. With debt, there’s not much I can do – no money for house, wedding, wedding band etc. I’m 38 and she has waited too long. And for me, it’s been too long since I’m stress free. Today, I am pleading the public to ask for help. I know I need help and I really hope the public will help me a little at
I thank you all so much for giving me a chance to finally lead a life of a normal person.