Dear Prime Minister,
I would like to propose making the nature reserve into a GRC for the purpose of making Singapore more democratic. I have 10 reasons.
1. Singapore’s population is growing so we need to encourage more people to become MPs by showing them how good life as an MP is.
2. This should be used as a training ground for new politicians as well. Learn to eat snake, play with duckweed and sing song with parrots.
3. Meet the people’s sessions will be so much more enjoyable now. Slow loris won’t keep asking for help. Can also teach the MPs to get used to the smell. Two for one!
4. Our town council will have the lowest budget and we can compare it to Low Thia Khiang’s again. HOW COME THEY ALWAYS SPEND SO MUCH ON THEIR RESIDENTS? It’s confirm corruption, tell them don’t bluff leh.
5. MPs can wear white and go hiking. Show people that no matter how much shit they go through they will still come out clean.
6. The biodiversity in the nature reserve will ensure that no racial enclaves will form. In fact, they will celebrate racial harmony day every day since the residents never get out of their ethnic costumes.
7. No need to impose racial diversity housing quotas. If they are living in the wrong area, just build an MRT line.
8. No need to redraw the electoral boundaries for Nature Reserve GRC since they cannot move out anyway. Then we can show the critics that the reason why we redraw electoral boundaries is really because residents keep moving around. Very hard to keep track.
9. Opposition can have NCMP scheme, why we cannot? If they have MPs with nobody to represent, why we cannot? We can! We must! We must form a constitutional committee to discuss this. Then we present white paper, debate white paper, and after careful deliberation we will tell everyone that our initial decision was always correct.
10. Because we can. We already have the mandate of 70% of the voters until the next election. That means whatever we want to do is whatever they want us to do. So we can do whatever we want to do because they want us to do whatever we want to do. In short, because we can.
Special Select Impartial Constitutional High Commissioner for Voluntary Animal Rights Welfare Non-Governmental Non-partisan Non-political Organisation