AssMRT announcement

Dear loyal commuters,

We refer to the latest, but not the last, major disruption on the evening of 9 January. We are pleased to inform you that we have received were more compliments and constructive suggestions than brickbats. What a way to begin the New Year!

Image @ TOC

Many commuters thanked us for the novel experience but what surprised us was these commuters requested for more of such experiences in future. To show our appreciation for your patience, understanding and appreciation, AssMRT is looking forward to providing refreshments similar to those sold in our former National Stadium, ie drinks, curry pok and kuih chee, before you board your free bus bridging transportation. Wet towels may also be included.

The Pay And Pay government is receptive to our PR efforts and has indicated taxpayers will be footing the bill. So no worries, a fare hike is not on the horizon as AssMRT’s expenditure will not increase.

A number of adventurous youths have suggested to rope in SCDF to assist in future breakdowns. Fireman ladders could be extended from ground level to accessible locations to expedite the transfer by bus.

Original image @ Temasek Times

This will also prevent overcrowding on MRT platforms. We are aware that some stations constructed by companies involved in the construction of JEM shopping mall could give way under the weight of a well-fed population.

Jem shopping mall
Another JEM jinx: Ceiling collapses, shops flooded

Since the SCDF is cheap labour, the cost to our government will not be significant.

Not all suggestions are constructive, such as this one from Mr Lau Ah Pek, a member of the pioneer generation. Said Lau: “My 70-year old friend, Mr Bo Kui Leow, was exhausted after the relatively long walk and suggested that lifts should be constructed at 100-metre intervals along the track.”

Statutory board and regulator, Langgar Thentake Action, better known as LTA, has set up a committee to look into all feedback, including those mentioned above.

Commuters who prefer to KPKB every time a breakdown occurs should try to understand that AssMRT is working with hands tied by PAP behind our back. For every one step forward, we are forced to take three steps backward because our population is increasing by about 90,000 every year to meet PAP’s 6.9 million, probably more, target in 2030.

Those who KPKB at our organisation are barking up the wrong tree because they should instead be blaming only the component itself/related parties of our system, ie blame traction system for traction fault, Singapore Power for power fault, track/cable manufacturer for track/cable fault, etc,

Do consider your health and don’t send your BP above 180, getting unnecessarily annoyed being late for work by only an hour or reaching home 3 hours later, enriching the taxi driver by $40.

Do not forget that the majority of commuters, yes YOU, voted for this designed-for-4-million-population system now broken under the weight of 5.6 million. Common sense tells us more breakdowns are guaranteed and it’ doesn’t make sense to KPKB knowing what’s in store, no?

Above all, do remember that our MRT system is run by scholars and since when have scholars been at fault? Read our Social Studies textbook to better understand that scholars have never been at fault, eg. police handling of the Little India riot.

Image source: The Alternative View

Nevertheless, our organisation will make this major disruption an exception and humour our loyal commuters for 2016 or until a major disruption doesn’t occur within a 3-month period, whichever is earlier.

Our new name AssMRT takes immediate effect and this will be our logo until the above conditions are met.

Thank you, relax and enjoy your ride.

Don Kee


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