Dear ASS,

This incident happened last week during SG50’s long holiday. It was a tiring friday night after a whole day of doing nothing and I had just gotten home at around 8pm to do more of nothings. There was no dinner cooked and I figured I’d get some fast food later on at night because I couldn’t find in my memories the last time my taste buds had unhealthy satanic food for what’s remaining of my soul. So I sat down at my desk and started with my usual routine of playing computer games (PC MASTER RACE FTW) till I got a few grumbles from my tummy. After some hours, it was time. I placed an order online from Mc’delivery at 1am, For a Double Quarter pounder with cheese, upsized with twister fries as you can probably see in the attached pictures. As you may have noticed, the delivery time stated 1:50. 50 minutes didn’t sound so bad, never have I ever been so wrong.

Firstly, the delivery was 8 minutes late. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s being late. It could cost a life in emergency situations. And this was an emergency situation of utmost importance as my stomach was probably starting to digest itself from being empty for too long. Secondly, my “Special Instructions” were totally ignored. The dude totally knocked on my door, almost waking everyone up. And my door just went for an emergency hinges transplant a few days ago, it could have not been able to take the force of the knock and collapsed to the floor and died. Thirdly, what if i didnt hear the knock since I was playing games? would the delivery dude have gone off with my dinner leaving me to starve to death? would he have called me? So many questions, so little time.

Anyways, I got my dinner. I went back to my desk and started sorting out the food from the napkins and shit. Perfectly assembled in specific locations on my desk so I could reach for whatever I needed with ease and convenience without making a ruckus with my food. Everything was set. This was it, I was born for this. I opened up the box and took out the main course. To my horror and heartbreak, my double quarter pounder was missing a patty.

Time stopped. After about 3 seconds of shock and horror, I regained my senses and ability to move. I started looking for the missing patty. I looked at their menu just to make sure that a double quarter pounder has TWO patties. I also double checked my double quarter pounder meal order in my email. I did some image searches and compared them with my burger. Something was really missing.

I looked everywhere in the box, in the paper bags, between the tissues, in my pockets and in my washing machine. My strategically placed items were now all messed up. The 2nd patty was no where to be found. My life felt incomplete. Paying for the right price and receiving something less didn’t bother me. I was hungry and I needed it. This really disappointed me. But I had to move on.

I sucked it up and began to head towards my first bite. I took it. That was it, I immediately forgave Macdonald’s for messing up my order with that first bite. I was pumped with flavor so well balanced in every ingredient used that it was like I could have gone “hey PAP, can I get about 10k from MY CPF to get my own vehicle for work cuz I cant seem to save up in time cuz SHIT is getting expensive day by day?” and PAP would have given it to me that second.

It’s that kind of happiness when life makes you happy, sadly the PAP idea isnt real, Macdonald’s is. At least it was something. Not like they just gave me the buns and sauce cuz a double quarter pounder is beef and im religiously not allowed to eat beef. Like how PAP doesnt want to return CPFs in one shot cuz people will use them wrongly so they give you little by little because that’s good for us.

Very Hungry Gamer
A.S.S. Contributor

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