WHY PAY A RUSSIAN THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR “UNLIMITED YOGA CLASSES”

Dear ASS,

Sillyporeans should stop paying for overpriced gym and yoga ‘memberships’ that cost hundreds and thousands of dollars, which fattens the pretentious and scheming capitalists’ pockets. Instead listen to our good-hearted Oxbridge/LSE aristocrats’ sage advice that picking up garbage and cardboard is a “good form of exercise” (活动 ‘huo dong’) which is absolutely FREE and green for the environment.

Most importantly cost savings from reduced public cleaning translates to more bonus for our thoughtful millionaire Leeders.

Wait…there’s more! Pick 70 cans and earn $1 while exercising! Our SG50 promo is as follows: $0.10 per kilo of CDs or cardboard. $0.13 for each kilo of old newspapers, and $1.00 per kilo of aluminum cans.

Mr Rag-and-bone Man
Chief Scavenger Officer(CSO)