PRC TOUR GUIDE: S’POREAN TOURISTS ARE STUPID, SIMPLE-MINDED & EASILY CHEATED

This is a translation of a long rant by a Chinese national who apparently believes that Singaporeans are lambs for the slaughter:

There may not be any problems when Singaporeans compare their IQ among themselves, but once they are in China, they can easily be fooled by even our most stupid idiots.

This is not a casual statement, but is backed up with solid proof. My buddy from the travel agency told me, among tour groups from around the world, those from Singapore are the easiest to guide. It is so easy that any new guide can handle them without any problem. Why? Because Singaporeans are exceptionally stupid, you can say whatever you want, just fabricate any reasons, they will be convinced without difficulty.

For example, tour groups from Chan Brothers and CTC of Singapore go on a mostly 8-day tour to Beijing, Chengde and Tianjin, but the actual sightseeing is always less than 4 days, most of their time is spent shopping at specific locations, such as Chinese herbs at Tong Ren Tang, Pi Xiu at De Sheng Gate, herbs for foot spa at some foot reflexologists. In addition, there is shopping at jade shops, silk stores, jewellery shops, tea shops, cloisonne shops, etc. If the tourists feel that there is too much shopping, just tell them that those shops are operated by the government and their visits are compulsory, they would just accept it and have nothing more to say.

Shops at De Sheng Gate are specially meant for tourists from Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan for the sales of Pi Xiu (a legendary animal). The sales proceeds would be split equally between the shop and the tour guide who would then submit half of his share to his travel agent, then share the remaining half with the coach drivers and the Singapore tour guide. In fact, many other shops in Beijing are selling the same kind of Pi Xiu, and their prices are only about 10% or 20% of those sold at De Sheng Gate. How to reconcile the price difference? You only need to tell the Singapore tourists that De Sheng Gate is a museum, and is run by the government, that’s all. They would fork out lots of money to shop. However, those from Taiwan and Hong Kong are not as easily fooled.

Tong Ren Tang and foot reflexologists are two key locations for the shopping spree of Singapore tourists. As Tong Ren Tang is a renowned Chinese herb shop with a long history, of course tourists would not be brought to the authentic Tong Ren Tang, they would only be led to a shop in the Wang Fu Jing shopping district, downstairs is where the common herbs are sold, the tourists would be brought to a small room on the second floor where their pulse is checked under the guise of a free medical check up. No matter how many tourists are there in the group, each and every one of them shall be found to have certain health problems and need to consume lots of herbs to maintain his or her health. All you need to do is to tell those Singaporeans that this is a state-owned Tong Ren Tang, a small box of herbs can easily be sold to them at over Rmb 10,000 yuan (S$2,000).

The most profitable are the foot reflexologists. Before departing for the venue, the tour guide would declare that the travel agent will give a free foot massage to every member of the tour group at the Beijing stadium, a place specially set up for the athletes. Of course, it would be nice to have a foot massage after climbing the Great Wall. Actually it is not free at all, it is just a sales gimmick to promote herbs for the foot spa. The masseur would comment that there are various problems with the whole body of the customer who then has to buy their herbs for treatment. Each box costs Rmb 320 yuan (S$64), 10 boxes for a course. If the customer is not interested, the masseur would threaten him that he would develop serious health problems without the treatment. Do you think this would anger the customers? No, at least not Singaporeans. Singaporeans are really stupid, they have no brains to think and would succumb to the threat. Then what is the cost of such herbs for foot spa? Go to Hu Qing Yu Tang at Hangzhou, each pack is sold for Rmb 2.5 – 3.5 yuan.

There are many similar cases. Hence, Beijing tour guides for Singapore tourists would talk about shopping since day one of the tour. They would talk day and night about how efficacious the Pi Xiu are and how precious the herbs at Tong Ren Tang are. They exploit the slow reaction of Singaporeans’ minds and their inability to think independently, to draw money into their pockets. The trick of free foot massage would not work with the Taiwanese and Hong Kongers. Their reactions are too fast and they are sharp enough.

One might wonder how Singaporeans can be cheated so easily. The answer is simple. Firstly, Lee Kuan Yew meddles with everything in the lives of Singaporeans, everything is put in perfect order, hence there is no need for the people to use their brains, just follow Lee Kuan Yew’s instructions will do. Secondly, every cent that the Beijing tour guide makes is split with the Singapore tour guide who would act as the Trojan horse to help the Beijing guide make more money which he shares with him. A tour guide leading a group of 30 Singaporeans can easily be rewarded with at least S$1,000 for an 8-day tour to Beijing if he is a good Trojan horse.

This story was translated by TRE from a story first published on Da Liu Lian Wang.

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