Unable to stand incompetent overpaid dead weights who cannot do their jobs properly as required, National Development Minister Khaw Boon Wan told parliament on Feb. 12, 2015 that MPs who caused lapses to occur must commit suicide via hara-kiri, as a matter of atonement and accepting responsibility for failure.

Following his speech in Parliament, security staff were seen rushing to put a number of PAP MPs deemed to be of the greatest threat to themselves on 24-hour suicide watch surveillance.

Several of these MPs expected to take their own lives include ex-Home Affairs minister Wong Kan Seng, Minister of State Desmond Lee, Vivian Balakrishnan and Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

This is followed by Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew, ex-National Development Minister Mah Bow Tan, Minister for Communications Yaacob Ibrahim and also Khaw Boon Wan himself, as a result of the recent Sengkang columbarium oversight.

Khaw’s demand in parliament for self-immolation has caused the Elections Department to update the electoral roll, in preparation for by-elections as and when MPs start passing away.

Singaporeans who heard of Khaw’s self-sacrificial suggestion, said they fully agree and can come up with at least 40 to 50 names from PAP off the top of their heads who should end their own lives unconditionally and immediately.

Qu Zi Sha, a local, said there was no doubt that out of the whole Cabinet, only Finance Minister and overall statesman Tharman Shanmugaratnam can spare his own life: “I believe the first few to go are the Minister in charge of transport and that guy who was responsible for letting Mas Selamat run away.”

“This is followed by a host of others, including but not limited to Seng Han Thong, Lim Swee Say and eventually, Tin Pei Ling.”

“Ya, Tin Pei Ling is not even important enough to be tasked to do anything important, let alone commit lapses.”

“But that’s the point. She should just go. She’s just making up the numbers.”

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