Oral sex. BJs. Fellatio. Call it what you will, the big news is giving head is good for your health. Girls have long been aware that sperm works as a face cream that draws out impurities when it dries and tastes delicious. What we now know – thanks to research at the State University of New York – is that that male semen contains a variety of chemicals that make you feel contented, younger and more affectionate.

Forget exercise, fad diets and How To Be Happy books. If you’re depressed, listless, can’t sleep, bored, fat or feeling suicidal, just go for your boyfriend’s zipper and give him a blowjob. Alchemists spent the Middle Ages trying to discover the elixir of life. They clearly never thought to open their britches and call for a serving wench to take part in an oral experiment. Then again, perhaps they did, but just couldn’t be bothered to examine the results.

Now, the results are in and what the researchers with 300 female students at the university’s Albany campus have confirmed after a study lasting several months is that girls who swallow adequate amounts of seminal fluid are less likely to suffer depression or mental health problems, and those who have regular sex, particularly unprotected sex, are happier, healthier, thinner and perform better on cognitive tests.

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