Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users

A major crisis has broken out at FCBC and FotF, two pro-nuclear family organisations in Singapore.

This after it was revealed that Apple’s CEO Tim Cook is gay. The confession was made public on Bloomberg on Oct. 30, 2014.

This has caused members in FCBC and FotF in Singapore who are iPhone users to come to the realisation that they have been secretly financing the gay lifestyle of Apple’s CEO as they have been buying his company’s products, such as the popular iPhone 5 and 6 and Apple tablets.

Some 70 percent of smartphone users in Singapore uses an Apple iPhone.

Yeshu Aini, a local religious person, said: “My entire life is in disarray. I have all along been an Apple fan and bought the iPhone 5 and 6 that were developed under Tim Cook’s charge. Therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

“No wonder this latest 5.5-inch iPhone 6 feels so good in my hands. It is because this is the average length of the male anatomy.”

The confession by the head of Apple has also caused others to be extra wary as the international scope of deception could also signal that the CEOs of Samsung, Xiaomi and LG are all also secretly gay and waiting for the right time to unveil their deception.

Local magician Lawrence Khong is expected to take to the pulpit on Sunday to encourage his flock to switch to using pay phones from now on, or even better, denounce technology altogether as a whole to be Satan’s work.

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