You might have read recently that the Singapore police allegedly went around in the night to personally deliver notice letters asking some individuals to assist in investigations relating to the Return Our CPF protest at Hong Lim Park on Sept. 27, 2014.

This caused quite a bit of a hoo-ha because police should be out catching thieves instead of doing DHL services.

As a result, some have even gone through all the bother to come up with a list of things one should do in preparation if the Singapore police does show up at your doorstep one fine evening.

But that’s just assuming you have enough common sense to react calmly in the face of the police, especially when your mother is crying hysterically and your father has collapsed on the floor as he is now certain there is a criminal in the family tree.

Therefore, here is a list of 10 things one should never, ever do when the police shows up at your door unannounced:
1. Try to grab their revolver.
2. Open the door, close the door slowly, turn off the lights, squat down and pretend no one’s home.
3. Admit you were an accomplice in that case in Singapore last time where the ang moh guy killed another guy and dismembered him.
4. Say, “This is Minority Report, right? You’re arresting me for a crime that I will commit in the future?”
5. Say, “I didn’t call for strippers.”
6. Ask, “Eh McDonald’s delivery change uniform?”
7. Take out your student concession pass and shout: “CID! CID! I also CID!”
8. Call the police: “Hello? Police? Got police harassing me. Come quick.”
9. Ask, “Is this how I appear on Crime Watch?”
10. Push the gate open. And make a run for it.

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