GOVERNMENT: PEOPLE CAUGHT SHITTING IN PUBLIC WILL BE PUNISHED BY CLEANING PUBLIC TOILETS FOR 1 MONTH

by Wan Dan Liao, Straight Times

SINGAPORE – An image of a woman having diarhoea in public went viral on Singapore cyberspace Wednesday night. According to the image contributor, the woman was most likely a PRC national who could not control her bowels and was forced to defecate in public. Singaporean netizens are up in arms over the matter and many have called for such errant individuals to be deported back to their countries.

When asked for his views on the matter, 67 year old retiree Chao Kar Chng said: “Don’t know why nowadays people like to make big mountain out of small hill, last time in kampong we always this one. No big deal lah”.

However, others like Miss Jin Ai Swee thought otherwise: “How can these filthy PRC country bumpkin come and dirty our clean garden city? The government must do something and kick these disgusting people out. We do not want to become like Hong Kong where PRC just shit and pee wherever they like”.

As a result of this latest shitting incident, various Government representatives held an emergency meeting late last night to come up with an appropriate response plan against such uncouth behaviours from taking root in Singapore.

At about 5.00 AM this morning, the Government held a press conference and unveiled a series of measures to clamp down on such disgusting public behavior. A visibly tired Government spokesman Hor Lan Liao told reporters “We understand the public’s concern over this latest incident and we have come up with a few measures to curb such behavior. With the public’s support and the hiring of more enforcement officers, we believe Singapore will become a better place to live in for everyone”.

The following measures are expected to take effect from 15 August 2014:

1) Fine $1,000 if caught shitting or peeing in public

2) For repeat offenders: Jail of up to 12 months and 6 strokes of the cane

3) Offenders who are caught defecating in public will also be sent for mandatory Corrective Shit Training where they have to clean high traffic public toilets for a period of one month. Subject to their performance during their Corrective Shit Training, trainees may have their stint extended if they do not clean the toilets properly

4) Members of the public are encouraged to submit videos and photos of people defecating in public on an online NEA portal. After the culprit has been arrested and successfully reformed, a $100 NTUC voucher will be mailed to your home as a token of appreciation

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