I am an officer. The army was everything I dreamed about since childhood. I had dreams about becoming an officer. When I enlisted, every ounce of strength and determination was put it to make it to OCS, which I did. After 9 months of grueling training, at least to me, I commissioned and my parents were so proud of me. Likewise, I felt the same way.
Things however changed soon after I got to my unit. I suddenly felt that there was no further aim in life. One night, a nervous breakdown struck me and I decided this is it, I could not take it anymore. I hated the Forces, I hated the Army. This life was not the childhood dream I wished for and there was no escape. All around me, my peers had social lives, girlfriends, fulfillment, while I had none.
I started to feign a back injury sustained during an exercise and was requested to be subject to light duty for 3 months, effectively making my working hours 8-5 each day. Soon, I started to avoid coming to camp on certain days. Knowing that I could be charged with AWOL, I decided to cover my tracks by getting people to vouch for me.
Then one fine day, a junior NSF came to know about my absence from camp and confronted me about it. When I threatened to charge him with insubordination, he simply replied me that he would whistle-blow my activities to the higher ups and I was in a jeopardy than he actually was.
I am not proud of what I did next. The next day, I stole his phone and download some illicit materials inside and put it back where I took it from. Following that, I “”confronted him”” and wanted to check his phone. He denied my request and I made an anonymous call to tip off the MP about his illicit material in his phone and its location. Swiftly, they came down and got hold of it. On top of this, I charged him with insubordination.
With the two supposed misdeeds, I manage to get him 21 days SOL. I still remember the look on his face, anger coupled with hatred and confusion. I had to do it to divert the attention.
To that NSF, I am sorry, you left me no choice. I had to do it so as to protect myself. I know nothing can change that but you should never have threatened me. To the rest, don’t judge me, I am sure you did something like this at some point of your NS life. It is just fortunate that I am an officer and I abused my rank to get away with it.
I just hate my life now and can’t wait to ORD.
A Chao Geng SAF Officer