My boyfriend is white. And because of that, I’ve been accused of being self loathing, denying my asian heritage and also gold digging.
In general, do I find white men physically more attractive than Asian men? Yes, I would say so. But I see no reason to apologise for it. It is simply my preference.
You may look at one man and find him aesthetically more pleasing than another. Well, so do I. I find men who are tall, have nice eyes, and a strong face structure attractive. If you are short, have a flat face, slitty eyes or have no chin, I will not find you physically attractive. It has nothing to to with being racist. I’ve met white men who I thought were butt ugly. I’ve also met Asian men who took my breath away
Similarly, you may have your own criteria.. perhaps you don’t like darker Asians? Or think Korean looking men are hot? Some of you might never date a fat person. These are all your preferences, and you should not be faulted for it.
The next stage, after the physical attraction, is the personality. I am attracted to men who are intelligent, have a cracking sense of humour, are compassionate, chivalrous, sensible and are mature. These traits are not race oriented.
I am dating a white man because he happens to be a combination of all these things I want. I am not dating him because of his race.
In Asia, the majority of people want to be whiter. They spend money on creams and treatments to whiten their skin. They hide in the shade.They aspire to have bigger eyes and smaller noses. Photos are airbrushed until they look like ghosts. And yet, no one accuses these people of being racist or denying their Asianess.
On the other hand, I am not changing myself or who I am. I am still an asian girl (and a tanned one too!), but I am simply dating someone white. So why can’t you see that?
I’m not saying that all Asian women who date white men do it for the same reasons as me. There will be women out there who date white men for (what most would think) are the wrong reasons. But give me a break! There’s going to be individuals like that in EVERY single race. it’s called individuality,
I chose a mate based on my criteria, another woman can apply her own checklist when choosing her mate. Just because her criteria doesn’t match mine, and I see a young Filippino woman with a fat bald semi-rich white guy… doesn’t mean I have the right to judge her based on my own preferences.
And then there are the Asian women in this world who will never date a white man. And these are the same people calling me Racist because I do date outside of my race. Oh, the irony!
For me, whatever your race is, either you got it or you don’t. When you stop making something an issue, it suddenly stops being one. Hopefully, one day we can all sit back and laugh and just enjoy whatever we prefer… without feeling threatened by someone who lives life at the beat of her own drum.